Loving Tsubasa vs Hating Natsume
by Znowy Vamage
Summary: Mikan, an average high school student is going to confess her love to her ultimate crush. But before that happens, someone said something that make her think twice.
1. I love him I hate him

**Disclaimer:** This superb anime is not mine…sometimes reality can be so cruel. =(

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**This is my 2****nd**** fic. The GA characters are normal people here. No alices. Hmmm the idea just came to me when I'm trying to sleep. This fic is supposed to be posted last February 14 but there have been a problem regarding our internet connection. I was really frustrated at that time but now everything is fine. I'm glad about that. And about this fic I hope you'll like it. I appreciate it if all of you will give reviews as well!!! =D**

**By the way, I edited this because a big idea had cross my mind so I need to add some lines.**

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**Chapter 1**

**I love him I hate him.**

Red?

Hearts?

Chocolates!!!

These three are the signs that Valentine's Day is coming or the V Day is already today. I smiled at the thought of that.

I am on my way now on Gakuen Alice, a very widely known school in Tokyo, Japan. I looked at my watch and saw that it's only 7:10 am.

"There's still time before classes start." I reassuringly told myself.

I wandered my eyes in the scene in front of me.

Stores with a bunch of flowers and red roses displayed inside it not to mention the different kind of gifts you can give in Valentine's Day are everywhere.

At my right a bakery that sells chocolates that differ in size and shape are already opening in this time of morning.

In my left is a store with two beaming male employees, holding two teddy bears with a heart pouch in it. I smiled back at them.

At the sidewalk, I can clearly see vendors persuading people especially students passing by to buy there fresh roses.

Valentine's Day is the Day of Love I guess that's why many are eager to make this day special. And I'm one of them!

"In this particular morning, things will get really exciting." I spoke out with a hidden agenda in my mind.

I am Mikan Sakura, 15 years old and an average high school student. I have chocolate brown eyes that matched my auburn hair.

**I hate studying.** Studying doesn't like me too. Poor me.

**I love to eat.** I really do! I can eat a mountain of food in just 15 minutes.

**I hate Mathematics.** I flunk at every test. It's a miracle if a D will be put on my Math test papers because the never ending F loves me so much.

**I love to cook.** It makes me happy and satisfied at the same time.

**I hate vegetables.** Remembering the taste of it, make me want to puke.

**I love chocolates!!!** Oh speaking about chocolates, I baked a sweet tasty one. Its heart shaped with a small letter T in the center of it. It looks delicious and incredibly yummy if it will be eaten as I say so myself. And this chocolate that I baked with all of my heart and soul will be tasted by_ him_ soon.

Then, after that I will tell him my feelings that I've been keeping for two years. My grandpa always told me that it's much better to do things now than never.

However because of the constant blubbering in my head, I didn't notice that I'm already in front of the big golden gates of Gakuen Alice.

I walked casually inside the school and from what I have observed girls are very energetic today while the boys seem to be eccentric.

Valentine's Day can truly make the world go wild. A meteor would be crashing down here on the ground if it is just a normal day.

I noticed that students of Gakuen Alice are everywhere. Seriously, they are at every place.

Loving couples holding hands. Girls that are blushing non-stop while handing their Valentine's gifts to some boys. And boys are looking stiff because of nervousness. Even those that I know are serious and strict are acting softer and vulnerable.

"What a sight." I said while holding back a laugh.

But then, I became worried on how will I act in front of Tsubasa.

I stopped laughing and gulped afterwards.

"Mikan stop worrying and just focus on what you want to do." I told myself. Yeah that's right. I should think positively and nothing more.

I'm just inches away from the gate when I saw Koko walking back and forth with a panic looked in his face.

And what's that he's holding? Chocolates? He plans to give it to someone! I guess?

I think he needs some time alone to think the thing he is thinking.

**I hate thinking. **With the help of my friend, Koko, I have proven that thinking can make you crazy.

Then, I divert my eyes in to my left and saw Anna sitting in one of the benches, talking to a guy. I recognized him as a student from the other section in our year.

I came to a conclusion that they are in love because the way they look into each other.

I decided to leave those two love birds alone and go straight in to my building and find my prince charming.

"Thinking about it made me want to walk faster than I should." I said with a wide smile on my face.

**Tsubasa Andou.**

The day I first laid my eyes on him I thought that he is just another egocentric guy that thinks that no one can mess with him.

But no! I'm so wrong about him because he was the one who saved me when I have been cornered by four jerks in our school.

He was a prince charming that rides in a white horse.

From then on, I admired him and every little thing about him until I felt that I already love him.

He has a fair complexion and a built body.

Many are saying that he is perfect to be a model! I agree with that!

Then, there's a star in his face, maybe a tattoo that makes him look so cool.

But, these things are just a bonus in his overall gorgeousness.

His dark blue eyes that captivate my heart and his smile that makes me feel that I'm looking straight in the sun are the things that melt me in the ground.

His attitude too brings the best in him.

He is kind, thoughtful, understanding, fun to be with, tough, good in fighting and he once told me that "I'm pre-pretty-yyyy." I said with a mesmerized look on my face. "I feel that I'm seeing the living Adonis on earth! I'm so lucky." I added.

**I love Tsubasa. **He makes my life feel like heaven.

Then, I came to a stop.

Going inside in my building seems to be impossible. I saw that the entrance can barely be seen.

Why? Boys are blocking it, literally blocking it! I think they are waiting for their crushes or girlfriends because none one of them isn't holding flowers…chocolates…or stuffed toys.

Another image popped in my mind. _Tsubasa_…kneeling while taking my hand and kissing it softly…oooohhhhh what a great gift to receive for Valentine's Day!

Thinking about it sends my heart into flutter. Wait till he eats my chocolate. It's to die for!

However, voices interrupted my daydreaming.

I'll definitely break the neck of the person that's behind this outrageous uproar!

"Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh! It's Natsume-kun!!!"

"Natsume, Happy Valentines Day!!! I love you!"

"Receive my love through this chocolate Natsume!"

"NO! My chocolate is much better than her!"

"I'm prepared to die Natsume, just accept my gift!!!"

There I saw Natsume Hyuuga, crowded by numerous girls, probably her fan girls. They are all handing him chocolates and even Valentine gifts.

But, they only received a death glare from him.

How can they manage to like him? And what makes that guy irritatingly popular?!? He might even defeat Tsubasa when it comes to popularity rate.

"Oh that guy. Why did God let him have those stupid breathtaking looks?" I harshly stated.

**Natsume Hyuuga.**

The day I first laid my eyes on him I thought that he is a gentleman and it would be nice if he can be my friend.

But no, I'm so wrong about him because he was the one who insulted me when I tripped over a rock. Gentleman my butt because no way in hell that he is a gentleman!

He was a wicked stepmother that gives sufferings to poor Cinderella even though he is a man that is.

From then on, I despise him and every little thing about him until I felt that I already hate him.

He is tall, darn perfect for his good-looking appearance.

He has a fair complexion and a questioning built body. Maybe he is taking some kind of drugs!

Also, many are saying that he is perfect to be a model. Oh! A perfect model of a horse!

Then, he wears an earring that some people says that he looks so cool in it. Cool they say he might be a gay!

But, these things are just a bonus in his overall gorgeousness, I mean, ugliness!

Those crimson eyes of his will give me a heart attack at an early age because of frustration.

And his glare feels like I'm looking straight in a ball of fire.

These things make me want to be eaten by the ground.

His attitude too brings more evilness in him.

He is disrespectful, cold, unfriendly, worse to be with, emotionless, bad in socializing with others and yesterday he told me that "You are an ugly idiotic polka dot little girl." I said, trying to imitate him. "I feel that I'm seeing Satan on earth! I'm cursed." I added.

**I hate Natsume. **He makes my life feel like hell.

"Go away." I heard Natsume coldly told her fan girls. His tone is dangerous.

However, to think that those girls would be scared is a big no!

They have been silent in a minute but afterwards, they scream out from their lungs more excited than before. For them, the danger coming from Natsume is a blessing from above.

He sure spread a serious disease with those girls, worshipping him like a God. Pathetic!

"I better go now before that jerk sees me." I told myself.

But before I head inside my building, I got a glimpse of him.

I think I saw him looking at me, smiling?

To reassure myself I looked back from where he is and saw that he was not smiling that's for sure.

He is smirking! What's his problem now?

I glared at him and left.

I don't want to see anymore the smug look on his face. And it's irritating because I don't have any idea what's the damn reason behind that.

Does Valentine's Day affect his mind too? Now that's different.

Then, the bell ringed and my thoughts about Natsume disappeared.

I have a feeling that this day, Valentine's Day, will sure change my life.

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**How was it? Speak out your thoughts about this by giving some reviews. It will make me really happy. Hmmm I originally planned in making this a one-shot but I guess things can go different at times. =D**


	2. I thought I love him and hate him

**Disclaimer:** Higuchi Tachibana owns Gakuen Alice and it means that it's not me.

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**It's been a long time since I've updated. Well it's because I'm not in the mood. However, my mood had just been back from a long trip of nothingness. Hahaha! Here's the second chapter and I hope that all of you will enjoy reading it! I've changed the title of this fic for important reasons.**

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**Chapter 2**

**I thought I love him and hate him**

Should I approach him at lunch?

at dismissal time?

or

at the Special Ability class meeting???

Hmmm should I tell him with many people around us?

or

Would it be better if it will only be the two of us?

Moreover, will I tell him immediately about how I feel?

or

Is it much better if I will give him first the chocolate and tell him afterwards?

I don't know anymore!

And I'm shaking already, darn it!

"Arrrrgggggghhhhh!!!!" I shouted, causing most of my fewer classmates to look at me with confusion.

It's our break that's why we are just few in the classroom.

"Sorry." I quickly apologized.

I really didn't mean to shout like that however I am very confused at the moment about when, where, and how will I confess to Tsubasa. I didn't think that confessing to someone can result to major headache!

I know that I'm dumb or sometimes idiotic like they say but I'm not planning to mess this very significant moment in my life. It must be perfect!

However… I don't know a single thing about confessing to someone! Tsubasa is my first love. Wah I'm hopeless!

"What do you think you're doing? You look like you need to visit a psychiatrist." A cold but soft voice said.

I know that voice anywhere for many times it became my strength when I was weak.

"Hotaru…" I look at her with confusing eyes.

"What's the matter with you, Mikan? If you want to eat my chocolates then you can have it but, with the right amount of course." She said, while I eyed the paper bags she's carrying that contain a mouthful of chocolates. Probably it's from the girls and boys that really admire her brain and beauty.

"Many chocolates ah… figured much. You are really popular not only for the boys but also for the girls too, Hotaru."

"It's irritating though." She said while twitching her eyebrows.

"Hotaru, you should be thankful that many likes you and even adores you."

"I don't care. They are annoying." She frankly said.

"You know…your reaction is similar to…" I started to think who's the person that has the similar reaction like Hotaru's.

And I started to regret thinking that.

Natsume Hyuuga.

"Natsume Hyuuga… hssssssss." I hissed. "That guy with a huge amount of arrogantness in his body!"

"Baka. There's no such word like arrogantness so don't invent." Hotaru corrected me. "Besides, Hyuuga seems like a good guy despite his rotten attitude."

What?! Did I hear Hotaru correctly or I'm just having an ear problem?

Natsume Hyuuga… good? My god! Hotaru must have been hypnotized!

"Hotaru! What have they done to you?! Or maybe you have eaten some kind of cursed chocolate!"

Hotaru glared at me and said, "Idiot. I'm just saying that not all people who are arrogant are bad."

"Oh. Is that it? Still, I hate Natsume period." I childishly said while folding my arms

"You are always saying that you hate Natsume however… are you sure that it is hate that you feel for him?"

Ha? What kind of question is that? A weird one I guess.

Hate, the word that always pop into my mind when I see him.

It's been what? two years when I tried to befriend him but it ended up hating him instead.

Natsume never forgets to tease me or even insult me whenever we meet each other.

It's been like that all the time. He gets satisfied while I'm the one getting angry like an erupting volcano.

He's a person who doesn't know what it feels like to be insulted because he is cool, handsome and intelligent! God is sometimes unfair but I can't question Him.

But, I know that Natsume is not perfect even though ¾ of the whole population in our school say that he is perfect.

I can't argue with the fact that he is good looking but I can't really deny the big fact that he is ARROGANT.

That might be the reason why I hated him and cursing him like he is Satan himself.

"It's because he's so arrogant and full of himself!" I blurted out to answer Hotaru's question.

Yeah that's right.

But I didn't expect what Hotaru's said next.

"That's not a very smart answer. You hate him because he's arrogant? I think you haven't found the real answer, Mikan."

Now what's that suppose to mean…? that Hotaru and her mystical words.

Well I know that I'm not being reasonable.I shouldn't judge other people and hated them just like that.

However, when Natsume is near I feel like my body is out of control. It's like water that should be flowig freely but something is hindering it.

Whenever I felt that feeling I want to burst into anger so that it will vanish.

Come to think of it, I'm the one that should be hated.

Waaaahhhh... my head hurts already. I thought I hated him but now.... I don't know anymore.

"By the way, why are you totally bizarre earlier when I first talk to you?" Hotaru asked.

"Hmmm oh that!"

I completely forgot it. So here it goes then… I need the help I can get to make it through this.

"Hotaru, please help me. I don't know a single thing about confessing to someone." I pleaded.

"I know Mikan." Hotaru said while looking at the window. "It's Tsubasa, right?"

"How in the world did you know that it's him???" I asked. I'm very sure that I didn't tell her about that.

She faced me with an IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS look.

Ooops. I didn't realize that I'm obvious already.

What if… Tsubasa knew it too? Oh no! I can't face him anymore.

"Mikan…" Should I continue this or should I stop?

"Hey…" Wait maybe he's not yet aware of it.

Yeah that must be it!

BANG!!!!

I felt that a hard thing hit my head and it caused me to get dizzy.

"You ignored me twice and that's what you must get. Now, do you hear me Mikan?" Hotaru's voice echoed in my head.

I realized that she shot me with her famous Baka Gun.

"S-ss-sorry about that Hotaru. I was just thinking that Tsubasa might be aware of my feelings for him too." I reasoned out.

"Mind if I ask a serious question, Mikan?" She suddenly said.

"Sure. Go ahead." I said with a smile.

"Do you really love Tsubasa?" Hotaru looked at me with serious eyes.

What? Why is she asking me another weird question.

Of course I love him. I love every thing about him.

He's always been good to me and treated me nicely.

He's there for me always when I needed him.

"or is it only admiration, Mikan?" She added.

Admiration? No. I know that… it's not admiration because….

He became my inspiration and my dream too.

Not a single day that I didn't think of him.

Not a moment that I wish that he has the same feeling for me like I have for him too.

Not a time that I prayed that I can be with him forever.

That's why I'm confessing today because I…I love Tsubasa and not because I…. I admire him.

"You're wrong Hotaru. I… love him!" I yelled to show her that I really love Tsubasa but something is not right.

My mind is not supporting my statement.

And what's more, my heart doesn't know what to feel.

I thought i love him.

I'm getting confused now.

And I don't know what's happening to me. I really don't know!

"Mikan…" Hotaru sits beside me. "What will you do if you are torn between two lovers? The one is nice and the other is let's say disrespectful but not bad. Who do you prefer to love? The nice one who makes you give your best? or the disrespectful one who brings the best out of you?"

"Wha...at? Of course I would choose…"

Is this another weird question? I'm still not getting used in answering this kind of questions.

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**I thought that I can finish this fic in two chapters but it became long so probably it will take 4 or 5 chapters before it will end.**

**Please make a review guys so that I'll know if I should continue this fic or not. Or I can get some suggestions from all of you to improve my fic.**

**Thank You! =D**


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